CBC Debut!

Hello all,

Well I have had a very busy few weeks and have been quite neglectful of my blog, I do apologize... So what’s been happening you ask?  CBC pursued the Single Mother’s By Choice (SMBC) to be featured in a series that was aired this week on the Ottawa News.  It’s a great series and addresses so many issues that we as SMBC have been confronted with including fertility, age, going it alone and the expense associated with pursuing having a baby on our own.  Check out the 3 part series online, links below and let me know what you think.  There are both print versions and videos and in a couple of cases there are links to a radio component as well.  The coverage was fantastic and it was an absolute pleasure working with Lucy van Oldenbarneveld, the reporter, Sandra Abma, the producer and the two cameramen Jean and Patrick.


Links:

Print version of CBC series on fertility - click on the main photo to see the video version


Never Too Late:


Tired of waiting, single mothers are going it alone http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/story/2013/02/17/f-ottawa-fertility-feature-ivf-women-age-freezing-stories.html


Fertility treatments on the rise in Ottawa http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/story/2013/02/20/f-ottawa-single-mother-by-choice.html


Fertility treatment is an expensive last chance for pregnancy http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/story/2013/02/20/f-ottawa-fertility-funding-for-older-women.html


Getting together with a few of the other women in the SMBC for the purpose of this interview was a great opportunity to share our stories.  I feel a large responsibility to accurately and appropriately represent this new minority and to speak out on our behalf because I think for the most part we are lumped in with single parents and as you can see from my earlier blog, I for one don’t feel that we are the same in the original intention.  


You will also see that for the series an artist Julie Keon made a belly cast of me.  The experience was wonderful (though perhaps a little revealing... yikes!), I went out to Julie’s house which is an old beautiful century home.  She and I had tea and a visit getting to know each other while we waited for Sandra and Patrick from CBC to arrive.  Julie is an amazing woman... she’s a doula though not practicing at the moment, she makes belly casts and she is becoming a celebrant so will be able to perform all kinds of ceremony.  I really enjoyed meeting Julie and we shared some stories that made me believe that we share some common beliefs.  I look forward to my next encounter with Julie and I absolutely love the belly cast!  Julie will be sanding and painting it for me and I intend to bring it home and add it either to the wall of the baby’s room or my room.


I really appreciate CBC’s interest in running a story on this topic and inviting us to participate.  And while I feel like I’m in a fantastic position to be a mom at this point in my life from the comments there are definitely people who have their own opinions.  I look forward to addressing some of those comments as I get further along this journey!  One thing is for sure... it’ s too late to turn back now (not that I would ever want to...) given my due date was yesterday and I’m still waiting!


Stay tuned, I will write more in the coming days as there is so much to share... Content subject to copyright laws

Sharing at the expense of privacy...

Wow what an amazing response to my first blog, thank you everyone for reading it and supporting my decision to share my story!

One of my facebook friends asked a couple of pointed and may I say valid questions, one of which I would like to address...

The questions:
What about privacy and the constant eroding of it everywhere?
What will your child say when (s)he finds out about having none even before birth?

While I can't possibly address the erosion of privacy in our current society, I can address the second question.  To do that I need to share the main reason I have decided to share my story... as I said I am a Single Mom By Choice (SMBC) and very proud of it!  Being a SMBC is not entirely the same as being a single mom or single parent.  The difference is intent... traditional parents embark on the journey of parenthood with the intention of parenting with their partner and when that ends for whatever reason they become single parents.  SMBCs approach it with the intention of embarking on the journey on their own...  In speaking for myself, my biggest obstacle in this journey was to let go of the 'traditional' family and embrace my new definition of family, that being Single Mom By Choice.  Once I was able to let go of the idea of waiting for Mr. Right with which to build the perfect 'traditional' family... what I felt was empowered, courageous, and brave, I embraced my new reality and now I'm very proud of myself and loving my life!!!  

 

I have been very open with everyone around me with respect to being a SMBC and I find myself being approached by women who are basically asking themselves... what would it take for them to pursue their dream?  They see that I am pursuing my dream and ask themselves how could they do that?  They saw the bravery and courage that I felt and would tell me that I am an inspiration... someone to aspire to be (their words not mine...).  So, if by sharing my story I'm able to empower even one woman to pursue her dream whether that be to have or adopt a child on her own or pursue some other dream... then giving up the privacy of myself and my child is worth it! 

 

Now back to my child and what (s)he will say when (s)he finds out that (s)he didn't have any privacy even before birth... My child is being born in an age of social media... (s)he isn't ever going to know privacy the way we knew it in years gone by, it will be a foreign concept.  The children of today are all growing up with their picture posted all over the internet where they are connected to their friends by text, facebook etc. it is their reality, the only one they know.  It is my hope that when my child reads my story (s)he will be proud of me not only for conquering my own obstacles to be able to get to the place where I could become a SMBC and give him/her life, but also for being forthcoming with my story to help other women follow their dreams!!!

One of my friends requested as part of this blog I would post pregnancy photos of myself so here it is... 32 weeks and feeling great!!!
 

 

Thanks again for tuning in... until next time!
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The Beginning

Hello there,

I've decided to start this blog because I can't tell you how many people have told me that I need to share my story... most people (including my medical doctor and my naturopathic doctor... possibly the only time they will agree...) have suggested a book, one friend said skip the book and go straight to the movie starring Cameron Diaz.  Well, we'll see about all that... in the meantime I thought I would start with a blog to share my journey with anyone who is interested.

I am a 45 year old woman and I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first child!  I'm very excited about it and the reason people want me to share my journey is that I am a single mom by choice!  This is my journey, not our journey and I can't tell you how thrilled I am to be here!  Just to be clear right off the bat... I am not 'single' by choice, but given that I am single I decided to choose motherhood with the hopes that one day a wonderful man will join me on this journey.  If I waited much longer I may have missed the opportunity to have a child that was genetically related to me... as it was it took almost two years to get pregnant!  

Introducing Baby Cass to a very excited Momma Cass!

So here is my pride and joy... Baby Cass!  I just love using the reference to the Mamas and the Papas and wondering how old people are to actually know who I'm talking about when I say Mama Cass.  Anyway... here he/she is and in case you're wondering I don't know the sex and I don't want to know!  There are so few big surprises in life I want to enjoy this one!  Apparently, women push harder when they don't know too... who knew?

One of the reasons my medical doctor and naturopathic doctor thought I should write about it is that I informed myself about the process... and what I needed to do to increase my chances e.g. if you drink more than 4 or 5 alcoholic drinks a week you decrease your chances of getting pregnant by 50%! Yikes... there goes my wine!  My thoughts for this blog are to share some of my experiences, some of what I learned and perhaps write a story that eventually I will at the very least share with my little one... the story of their birth!  I would be happy to hear your thoughts on the things I write if you have something to say...

Thanks for reading...  Momma Cass

Oh and I was skyping with my lawyer tonight who told me that I should add... 

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